Wow that last blog… so much to say but couldn’t overwhelm so here comes some more!!!

I really need to set aside some blog time in my schedule…. It just never seems to happen and I do have a lot of things I would like to say 😁 (as if you haven’t noticed).

This blog will be a little bit more about my family life and my three wonderful phenomena!! Those little people I call my kids. It will also be touching off a little bit of my vulnerable side…. One that is very very very very hard for me to talk about in full honesty. But I will give it my best shot…… so bear with me.

THE KIDDOS

I am a mother of three beautiful creatures and a little while ago I asked, the exceptionally talented, Clare Hartigan to capture them in three individual paintings. I got my own painting from Clare earlier this year which I absolutely adore…. Everytime I look at it, it will raise different emotions depending on my own mood and the plan is that when my book (if my book) gets to have a cover that her painting will be it. Because it really is My Me.

So here are the words I shared with Clare about my three;

EMMA, 16.5 AKA EMSIE BEAR

Emma is super smart!! Her continuous word when younger was WHY. Always wanting to know more, learn more, get more and see more!!

She is bordering on adulthood and all that comes with that.

Emma has never liked dirt! She is a girly girl with lots of interest in make up, clothes and social media platforms.

She has a wicked sense of humour and picks up on many little things that no one else would notice.

ISABELLA, 12 AKA BELLA BEE

Isabella is the middle child and the true socialite. There is not one person she meets that she does not have a positive impact on. With her beady eyes and the dimple on her right cheek (which we saw when she was just 6 weeks old) she is truly a carer and full of sensitivity.

She is driven and succeeds in most things she tries but she is also restless so has at this stage tried most and stuck with non!!!

She moves all the time and has a messy nature with a warm outlook!!!!

PHILIP, 10 AKA CHIP 

There is lots of sentiment associated with this little man! He was born in the car outside the Radisson SAS and his name was given to him by my, at the time, dying dad, when he was still in my belly and we didn’t know he was a boy!!

Philip has a magnificent sense of humour which he uses to make people laugh but also as a coping mechanism when upset or faced with something he is not fully comfortable with.

He is a true hugger and does not let us leave the house in the morning without one.

Philip loves his computer games, hanging with his friends and plays football and soccer.

From these words and a few images of the kids these three amazing paintings are now waiting to be placed in my home in the rightful place…..

For a second time – Clare Hartigan – THANK YOU!!! Your talent is unstoppable and I know ill be back for more.

YOU DON’T LOOK A DAY YOUNGER THAN 40

Now there is the compliment my son gave me (did I say he is funny?) when my last birthday was looming. Well I am, I still have one more full year in my 30s…..

On the 11^thAugust I turned 39…. (Dun dun dun music)…. No not really, I am not one shy of turning older. We are what we want to be when we chose it!!! After the three weekends of mad music and a great night in the Pipers Inn in Killaloe I had a most relaxing day at home with my family and that evening we all got dressed for success and went to eat in an Italian restaurant together.

It was simply an amazing time with my crew……

#TEARS18

So to finish this blog I want to get a little bit more serious.

As you may well know by now I’m all for positivity and it is hard to catch me on a day where I am not smiling. This being one of the reasons why I use the #smiles18.

“You don’t have bad days” is the exact words used by one of my friends recently and I hear over and over again that I am one strong woman, tough out….. and on it goes.

But do you know what….. I do….

Not only do I have bad days but I have tears and sometimes lots of them. To say that out loud terrifies me. Why? Because I believe a lot of people chose to turn away when the smile does…… so I don’t necessarily always face that fear.

Not only do I not face the fear of how people will react but much to my own disadvantage life sometimes is allowed to get in the way of processing sadness. What I mean by that is that simple things forces us (well me anyway) to suppress the tears. Put them on hold.

It can be the very fact that as a mother I cannot show the tears in front of my children, at work I’m the professional- I definitely can’t be moping there, when with friends they need me strong too…..

But, sometimes the kettle gets to full, the pressure too much and whoops the tears just arrive….. these last few weeks has been just like that. I have felt…..(hard to admit this one out loud) sad, very sad and especially when getting the chance to Different elements of life has caused my sadness, becoming 39 not one of them… 😉

One of the hardest things for me when being sad and quite vulnerable is that those around me believes I’m strong, tough, capable, well able…. am I?

So from here on out, I’m going to promise to really be more strong for me! This will mean that I have to face up to that fear by not being shy of  sharing the good with some of the bad and doing it when the feeling is there, not months or years later when it is only a story to share.

There is a song that comes to mind (as always)! Sia sings in her song Helium;

“Every Superwoman Sometimes Need a Superman’s Soul”…..

Nothing could be more true!!!