So I would have for many years branded myself as a “good girl”, a well behaved woman.

In recent times this status has been tested…….. tested good and hard and has made me understand that being that good girl, that well behaved woman is not necessarily the right way for me to find MyMe.

It is known that well behaved women rarely make history….. I do want to make history!!! I don’t mean that I want to land myself in a history book, I just want to make my time count and matter, for ME, not just for others.

The best part…. I have every opportunity to do it!! May take a little imagination, a little boldness, lots of craziness and a whole lot of self-care.

So guess what, I am going to take out all the colours of the rainbow and paint my life in spectacular colours. My colours.

MINDFULNESS V CRAZINESS

As you know I have recently taken to hiking!! Try to do one or two hikes per month to replace some of my running while healing my ankle. On one of my recent hikes I caught myself in three moments which made me truly question my sanity!!

It started with a ferns bush, yes a ferns bush. I was climbing on a wood path up towards the top of the hike when a breeze passed. Whatever way it behaved but it managed to pick on one ferns bush out of a big bunch, which made it look like the ferns bush was waving at me……. You couldn’t guess what I did, I waved back. Yes I waved back and said hello (out loud). To a fern bush…..

This was closely followed by my apology to a bird that I scared out of his/her nest and a crawling through the woods to catch a photo of a mushroom. An important mushroom with lots of memories from my childhood, a “flugsvamp”. (think it may have looked like I was hunting for a bathroom spot)

Following my hike I just had to enquire about my sanity…… when telling someone the story they said “That is not craziness, you have mastered mindfulness”.

So is mindfulness and version of craziness or craziness a version of mindfulness? One would wonder…….

RESTRICTIONS

I recently visited a friend of mine and in the true spirit of Halloween her 5 year old son was telling me all he knows about the characters from scary movies. In the midst of telling me about Jason from the movie titled Friday the 14^th he went about telling me about why Jason turned evil. It was because he drowned in a big river and no one saved him.

To really help me visualise the river he ran up and down the kitchen floor saying in a big river like this or like that one he said pointing towards the fridge. On the fridge was a picture of a fountain and outside the window a lake. So I had to ask was it similar to the one outside or the one on the fridge to which he replied, like only a five year old can; “Like the one on the fridge, only straight.

These conversations is what has made me write this last piece of the blog. Because in children we see no restrictions, inhibitions or filters. They say what they need to say, express emotions they need to express, be who they need to be and most certainly behave the way they need to behave in a given moment. (this is possibly not the way we want them to behave but…..)

I was recently asked to consider how I behave towards others , why I behave in certain ways and most importantly what it gives back  to me to behave in that particular way. Challenging question right……. and one that will come with the realisation that some relationships places restrictions upon us which prevents us from being fully and holistically ourselves.

A classical and none personal example to give would be how we behave when the boss walks in the room. How we do not necessarily say what we want to say, how we don’t challenge their opinion, how we do not engage in learning fully, how we leave the seat next to them empty. All because we are afraid of what may happen if we say the wrong thing, how they will react to feedback or correction, what they will think about our abilities and comprehension. But guess what…. They are humans too and put the same restrictions on themselves as you do on you.

In my own world; last December (if memory serves me right) I let go of one small restriction when I let a client know to not forget me if a specific opportunity would come up. I knew in my gut that they would not have considered me for this opportunity based on my current behaviours in my role there. Now…… it has taken a year….. but what a challenge that is about to come!!!

It is only when you can begin to let go of such restrictions that you will get to know who you truly are and surround yourself with relationships that makes you shine!!! Plough straight through those big bold barriers!!!

So as a new week is dawning and another Monday is looming!! Hope you have your paint brushes out to colour it crazily magical! I do.

Bring it!!!