This tribute comes as today is a very important day here in Ireland and in particular important for the rights of Irish women. Voting stations are today open across the country to make a decision whether to repeal or maintain the 8^th Amendment. Whether to give women a choice.

I don’t have a vote, being Swedish, but I do have an opinion. However, this blog post is not about my opinion on the 8^th Amendment it is about the women in my life who has choice. Women that are my family, that are my friends that are my work colleagues that are my motivators, my comforters and my life lines. Women that I admire, respect and love.

The hardest part when doing this is the fear of forgetting someone….. so early apologies but I may have to edit or make additions to this post.

Here you are…….

MY FAMILY

• Mamma – This one….. she is the one who has taught me to have my own opinion, to stand tall, to care about myself and others and most importantly she has thought me what love really is. I talk to my mum every day…… about everything, simply because I can. She is my everything and one thing is for sure, I would be lost without her.
• Emma – My eldest daughter, my first born. This girl slowly becoming a young woman…. I get teary eyed when thinking about who she has become. I am so proud of her and all her crazy ways and exceptional achievements. She is funny, smart (much smarter than me, like nerd smart) and truly wonderful.
• Isabella – My second daughter and the middle child in my house. I think you would find it hard to find a little girl with a kinder heart and soul. Always looking out for everyone, no matter what age, race or personality. She has this most amazing little dimple when she smiles which is a real testament to her character.
• Auntie Gittan – This lady has a special place in my heart. Similar to my dad in many ways she has over the years, of my adult life in particular, become a relation that has come closer and closer. She is patient, kind and full of sound advice. (Not to forget she loves cheese just the way I do)!!!
• The Mother In Law – A rocky week is all we had and once that week had passed we have got on like a house on fire. My mother in law Imelda is not just a rock for me but a solid one for my kids.

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MY FRIENDS

• Lorraine – I was only in Ireland for two weeks when this girl was introduced to me due to our personality similarities. (We are both stone mad J)!!! Later that night she aided me to find my way home and we have stuck together since. Through weddings, funerals, babies, boyfriends, weight loss and weight gain, holidays, illness and injuries, great nights out and so many more things. Our story is nearly 18 years old and nowhere near finished! Love this girl to bits.
• Emma – My childhood bestie and oh the memories. We have them all. Pen pals from a young age we developed a friendship that was meant to last. Mention Roy Orbinson, Brown Eyed Girl, mention Madison, mention the first kiss….. mention graduation, mention walking and cycling places we shouldn’t – Emma you will know what I mean by each one of them.
• Miriam – On my very first day in UCC I sat down next to this one! The only two women from Clare in the room saw us create a connection which lasted well beyond our two years in college. We have since we got to know each other shared many special moments, had some serious laughs (the giggle box) and we have an amazing journey ahead of us, that I am sure of. Miriam is one of these who puts all others before herself….full of care and kindness.
• Edel – Some woman for one woman! As we are alike in so many ways, especially with regards to the not sitting still part it was evident that when this lady came in to my life there was no turning back. Since we became friends we have been on some amazing adventures and there a more to come. Edel truly has a solid (yet opinionated) gold heart and she will know you are not the best you can be before you even know it yourself.
• Christina – This lady has recently entered my life for a second time!! That is a sign to hold onto. Full of strength, an amazing mum and with totally mad dance moves. We have been on some super adventures in the last year and a bit and she is one of the people responsible for making my blog a thing, writing a book a thing and watch out when the summer comes. We are going to make the world a little bit more unsteady because this lady has an ability to push you beyond your comfort zone!
• The Swedish Mafia – Friends are friends forever no matter what and in Sweden I have a serious bunch of ladies. I don’t get to see them as often as I would like but we know we have each other’s backs if needed. Marina, Zeina, Maiken, Anna, Maria(s), Magda…….

MY FRIENDS THROUGH WORK

Chose to put this category slightly separately as they have a link in that they started out as work colleagues developing into friends.

• Carmel – Sometimes I think she is my shoulder to cry on, to guide me straight in business and life and certainly a lady I don’t run out of conversation with. A magic soul and one I am so lucky to have ran into.
• Maria – What a lady!! Straight talking and strong yet so selfless and generous she is a force to be reckoned with. With this lady I can lose my inhibitions (most of them anyhow) and express even my less impressive thoughts. We all need one of those…..
• Theresa – I always think of the first time I met this lady in business. Gosh I did not think she was very nice….. Because she questioned me, she pushed me, she did not take my excuses….. Today all those traits is what makes her a really and truly great friend who I know will look out for me and get me thinking thoroughly about my options and most importantly my values.
• Sinead – Another one of those that makes me smile! She is gentle and fierce all in the one go!! Humble yet amazing and one of my favourite things about her is her honesty. She is not afraid to share her truth which means she allows you to listen and she will listen back when you need to share yours.

One more woman on the list that deserves a mention is ME….. I am also a woman with an opinion and with choice.

In recent weeks I purchased a new t-shirt which I am waiting to wear for that very RIGHT moment!!! It has a poem on it by the wonderful Janne Robinson titled “This Is For The Women Who Don’t Give a Fuck”!!

https://www.jannerobinson.com/pages/this-is-for-the-women-who-don-t-give-a-fuck

To my Irish friends I hope you use your opinion today and show that you are one of the women who do give a….

Have a great weekend.

PS. I promise there will be a tribute to the men in my life at some stage too!!

 

It is time to bring the blog back to last year and those life alterations that occurred to bring me to today!

When starting the blog and writing about last year my intent was to share some of the moments of 2017. When you actually start writing you realise how many of those moments there actually are within 12 months. All of which are added to the things that creates the map of your life journey.

ORANGE SIZED OBJECTS

About three years ago I was at my school reunion in Sweden. Coming home to my mums house that night I started feeling unwell. At first I thought it may be the wine, then the food…… and then I got scared. I was in so much agony on the left hand side of my stomach that I could no longer breathe properly.

Next thing the ambulance brought me to hospital with mum staying behind with my two smaller kids. I was back out the following morning with subdued pain and exhaustion, but no real explanation as to what had just happened.

It took another six episodes, or more, before my GP said “you are never sick, yet you keep coming back with these pains”……. In May of last year an ultrasound identified an ovarian cyst the size of an orange. One that turned out to have twisted on itself three times.

Scheduled for surgery the cyst decided to throw me off course one last time and literally the week before the scheduled procedure I had to go for a two night stay in Limerick’s University Hospital, left feeling slightly beaten.

However on the 17^th November last year I had my left ovary and the cyst removed in St John’s Hospital in Limerick and I haven’t looked back since.

LIFE HANGOVERS

Life is full of hangovers it seems and I don’t mean just the kind you would get from alcohol intake.

I believe that there are a thousand and one adaptations, not including any form of intoxicant, which has the exact same effect, as that of alcohol, on our mind and bodies alike.

In recent times I have noticed this effect more than ever before, hence I’m writing about it. I have in particular paid attention to two clear symptoms, similar to that of the hangover;

1. Withdrawal symptoms
2. Emotional turmoil

To give you some concrete examples.

The first one relates to having taken up this running malarkey!! I was never a runner so one wouldn’t expect it to become or have the effects of an intoxicant. But it has and this is where I can clearly relate to the withdrawal symptoms. When I don’t get to go out for one of my runs I get irritable, critical of both myself and (oops) others and it can even go so far as me considering some self-sabotage – becoming a couch potato. This has led to those around me knowing that I need to be given the time to get some running done!!!

The second example relates to something totally different. During my journey to finding my me I have put myself in situations which has brought out a part of me that I didn’t think was me. Not sure if this makes sense to others……?

It has been more than just going outside of my comfort zone. It has been breaking my own rules and principles. Breaking the rules I think others have placed on me….. the expectations others have of my behaviour.

What I am describing is simply being BOLD!!!! Well at least I think I have been!!

An example of  this little would be something as simple as putting myself and something I want to do before my kids or sharing my opinion with oompf!!

Oh and when I do I feel highly intoxicated….. positively drunk.

However when I wake up the day after, I suffer that hangover! Depending on the level of boldness the grade of hangover varies. But it does leave me in emotional turmoil, where I have to battle with the rollercoaster of classic day after feelings such as what did I do, who am I, is this really me or was it a moment of weakness….. I shouldn’t have drank that much…..

In essence the instigator of the hangover has, at first, an intoxicating effect and lets me enter a state of euphoria. When the cold light of day shines on it….. doubt creeps in and I am hungover.

Maybe these intoxicants are not bad influence and when I finally break those rules am I really finding MY ME? A me slightly different from the one that I have known, from the one I was.

This brings me to think of the song lyrics of the amazing Mandy Harvey;

“Cause I know the only thing in my way – is me”

 

 

EUROVISION 

Even writing the work Eurovision puts a smile on my face and I hear the theme tune in my head! I love great music…… and at the very same time I love the Eurovision Song Contest.

For me it is about childhood memories where we used to, as a family, religiously watch the show every year. In Sweden we would (still do) make a big deal of selecting our song for the competition and I think nearly the full Swedish population would be watching it in anticipation.

Mum used to make prawn sandwiches, very fancy ones, and my parents would have wine and me and my brothers would get fizzy drinks and sweets.

For the last few years I am recreating these memories with my two daughters. So last night we ate a tasty dinner in front of the TV, then put out an excessive spread of sweets and treats before we glued ourselves to the couch to watch the show.

During the show we danced, laughed, sang and then danced some more!!! All this whilst supporting both Sweden and Ireland to win!

I probably shouldn’t say this out loud but I have documented on my bucket list that I will someday get to go to the live shows!!