This blog post will be easy to write!! What a week I have just put behind me!! I will just have to share some of the stories before I will get back to where I left off in my last post. Somewhere in January 2017.

The Man Who Made Me Wonder What Happened To Sweden!!

On Thursday the 18^th January I travelled home to Copenhagen to connect with my mum in Sweden. When changing trains in Malmo station this young savvy looking Swedish man with a tweed coat, brief case (the modern kind) and a beer (what!!??) was standing next to me. He was having a face time conversation with a “lady friend” where they were discussing whether or not to continue their “romance”, which this same man clearly didn’t think was really working out but thought would be a good idea to openly share with the whole train, whilst including both picture and sound for adults and CHILDREN alike.

He went on to share some statistics, which entailed a recent survey that parents of children born in the 90s would get more action when the lights go out (if you know what I mean) than that of their children. Hmmm interesting….. (Hopeful here that the same will apply going forward to children born in the 00’s!!) Phone call ended he spotted me making a phone call to ICE Joe in my phone which he believed was a really cool name and that is where one of the funniest conversations I have had in a long time began.

I was quick on my feet and thought, hey I am not going to let on I know what he is on about, I am going to be Irish and not Swedish!! Didn’t fancy a debate about parents of kids born in the 90s or anything….. So it all started with me giving him a very puzzled face followed by him asking me “sprechen sie deutch?” to which I said. No, only English!

He asked “Where in England are you from?” and I said nope not from England I am from Ireland. Oh he said and I am a Leprechaun! Interesting one would think, don’t think I ever heard of a Swedish Leprechaun. He went on to show me the buckles on his shoes and the beer in his hand. I nearly believed him at this point!!

He subsequently shared with me his leprechaun story by simply stating some facts such as the fact that they had tried to diagnose him with ADHD, but that wasn’t his problem although he was quite sure that he had one! That he had recently bought an apartment in Marbella for his sister who is a sufferer of psoriasis.

He went on to share some of his worst vocabulary in English with me being thankful that he was more used to American TV from the 90s than real curses – well that was until he finished with the word c… ,which is my least favourite word, as some of you might be aware of, in the English language.

Well our conversation finished with the use of this word and its true meaning…. As he was hopping of the train he gave me a most polite handshake and set on his ways.

When he had left the train a lady in front of me turned around and said – I am so sorry. I did not know how to help you out of the conversation. Apologies for my fellow country man. To which I could only reply. Never mind – I deal with Leprechauns on a daily basis in Ireland.

It is these small moments in life that the beginning of 2017 taught me to appreciate!

We All Need Dangling Carrots

To finish this blog post I want to share one more of the simple tips that I implemented and which worked for me to commence the journey back to ME.

When things were at their toughest I set reward goals or events to work towards. It turned out that such rewards would come in two main versions;

1. Those I did with just me or;
2. Those I did with people I care about

To start with those I did with just me; They make me think of Newton Faulkner’s song Dream Catcher and in particular the part of the song where the lyrics say (oh hang on better play it on Spotify to make sure I am saying the right thing here) “There’s a place I go when I’m Alone, Do Anything I Want, Be Anyone I Want to Be…….. This phrase really summarises why I chose to spend some time with me. I could clearly think, dream, take in my surroundings and most important listen to me and what I really want… Albeit that this last bit is not quite clear yet – clouds have merely gone from thick across the sky to scattered with glimmers of blue appearing in between. Some days the weather is worse than others.

But being with just me allowed me to dream and start strategizing towards reaching my goals some of which I shared in my first blog post.

To be able to do this – be with me – is a large leap for me, totally a socialite hiding behind my willingness to support others before I help me. That has changed…. These one on one sessions can be anything from a walk or run to spending time in a quiet corner to read a book, have lunch with me and sometimes I might even stop the car on the way home and get a few minutes to gather myself before socializing!! So do do me time, it comes highly recommended.

So to the things I did with people I care about…… yet another story I need to come back to!! As mentioned previously I needed to find something to fill the void that was left behind after taking part in Strictly Come Dancing. One of these was to join forces with three wonderful ladies on who I went on a lot of adventures with in 2017 and more of them planned for 2018!! We did anything from cinema nights, nights spent like teenagers at 80s parties, “variety shows” and dance nights out to learning new skills, challenging our fears and most importantly laughing our socks off when sharing lots and lots of challenges, hopes and dreams. This team, you know who you are, have done a lot more for me than you will ever know!!

Spending time with my three wonderful kids and to connect with them again was something that started a little bit later last year. With them I couldn’t hide away from my fears quite as well so took a bit longer to come to the realisation how much, not just them needed me, but how much I needed them!!

Other rewards and other events to work towards included concerts, holidays to places I want to go, meeting with people I haven’t seen for a long time (lots more of those to catch up on) and taking on new challenges to materialise some of those dreams….

I still use these “dangling carrots” to keep my energy levels and motivation up with the best part being that when you start implementing them, more seems to come your way without you even having to look.

Back again and need to start with yet another round of thank yous to all those who have read, commented and sent me messages on the last post! I think a few to do lists have been started!!!

So when setting out goals it is a given that we will meet some stumbling blocks. Some will be mountains, some will be hills, some will be crossroads whereas others will merely be a rock, gravel or sand in the shoes at best.

As a prime example, my goal 6, the one about having a most romantic relationship with my husband has taken one step back on the basis of my new found interest in blogging. No, not because I am hovering over the computer watching each visit to my blog post, nor for the hours I spend writing and composing my posts (as if!!). It isn’t even for the opposite reason, that he didn’t read it and immediately buy me flowers, skittles or an office in New York.

First blog post live! Excited and delighted and the phone beeps… Here is me thinking it’s a publishing company getting in contact to get my pending book on the shelves today. How could they not as I am one in a million….. as I was told, and this time not by my mother. No it’s my husband and he is expressing his “concerns” about making the content public and what such content might entail going forward. It is worth bearing in mind that at this point he had already proof read the content so it wasn’t that as much as it was the live bit….. Shy of social media and not wanting to get a raised profile through my new blog, discussions were held about legal standpoints and freedom of speech in our house…… not exactly romantic….. Oh work to be done here. J

This is an example of, hmmmm, gravel?? I will in future blogs share more with you about my real life MOUNTAINS and sand in around my toes….. I believe that we need to remember these when we set our goals and plans and most definitely allow for them to get in the way, at least for a while.

New Year, New Start, New Me…… not in 2017

One of the last things I did in 2016 was meet with my business coach to set out some strategic goals for 2017. This worked well during the meeting which we had over the Christmas break and I did feel ready to go. But over the coming days it all changed….

I cannot recall a particular trigger, an event, a person, an anything that changed me; changed me drastically.

My ME had disappeared….. not sure where to. But I started to dread the thought of going to work, started to dread the thought of meeting up with friends, no particular interest in conversation in general whether for work or for pleasure.

What I remember clearly at this point is making a call to my business coach, sitting in my hallway at home, taking notes of what he was saying. I still have that A4 page and note. “Take time out”. Take 2-3 weeks where commitments are limited and you can be what you need to be. Mind yourself in this time frame from a physical and mental perspective.

Guess what, not normally a good person to listen, I took his advice. I stepped back, stayed at home and started to make good use of my own company and the great outdoors. I would head for walks when I felt like it, I would read books that I wanted to read (not a to do list book), start taking note of what the last number of years being a self-employed mother of 3 had really done to me and how it had affected me.

It took me way more than 3 weeks to find my way again, not sure if I have even found it at this point as I believe it is a continuous search for something but I have taken some very important lessons from it.

• Oxygen is essential and when we take the time to inhale it, and I mean literally not metaphorically, we end up getting re-energised and motivated to be more productive, effective and passionate.
• Getting to know ME (for you it’s you) is essential
• Taking two steps back will, if managed well, bring you ten steps forward.

So although it was not an easy decision to step back and a lot at stake from doing so I think it is essential to take those steps back in a manner that fits with your own personal circumstances and remember that it is not shutting yourself away from the world, nor being selfish for wanting to mind yourself, it’s a necessity.

I can recall having read, not believing it a possibility at the time, heard and listened to similar tips from others who say it’s SIMPLE, if you just do it.

Gosh, there are so many things I managed to leave off that goal list I shared in my last post….. and, besides that, isn’t it true that each of those goals also contain so many steps that the simplicity starts to get complex.

One of the main ones I forgot is my longing and urge to have an office in New York. Not necessarily because I need one but because I want one. This week, I added to my collection of little things that reminds me of this goal – this amazing big apple in porcelain which was a mere €8.48 in Heaton’s sale. I love a bargain of any sort!!

So my first post got some mixed feedback, which I found interesting. It ranged from questions as to what impact it would have on others in my surroundings; if I am really ready to bear my heart in this way (I thought I kept it quite light…. So far); if I am really willing to share the full truth and……some comments which filled my eyes with tears, in a good way:

1. “You really are a truly wonderful person”
2. This statement is probably my favourite –  “If I could just dig into your brain and see what else you are hiding in there!!”
3. “This will work as a true inspiration to other women in business and motherhood” Cool – not sure about that one…
4. My 9 year old son – one of the truly best critics read it more by accident than purpose and his spontaneous response – “You’re so funny Mammy” was truly heartfelt.
5. “You are one in a million……….”

Thank you to all those who took time to read and feedback on the first post!

So, as promised, this blog will share the main reason I started it – 2017 – with some, wait for it, pause….. SIMPLE tips on what I did to start getting myself back on track and, of course, why I think they worked. The blog will also share my 2018 journey!!!

The reason it all fell apart…..

So in order for you to understand what caused me to have to hit the wall in early 2017 I need to explain the main reason behind why it all fell apart.

In September 2016, I was signed up to take part in a Strictly Come Dancing competition for our local GAA Club; a challenge I had wanted to take on for years. My initial instinct when volunteered was that I won’t have time, I have too much work to do, I will miss time with my kids but….HELL YEA, finally someone has pushed me into doing it!!

So I dived right in and juggled work, family, diet (as I had to be swung around a man’s neck this piece was important), exercise, outside of dancing, and, of course, dancing for hours on end, 3-4 days a week for a 3 month period. But I managed; outside of a knee injury, a car crash and a few bruises, that is! Overall, it is one of the best experiences of my life, not just because to that myself and my partner WON but also to the fact that I found myself again, my confidence, my smile and laughter and my ability to be part of a something!!! I had a ball, rejuvenated myself for some much needed ‘me’ time, exercised and ate well, for the first time in years, and had a purpose, a goal to reach….. which was to go in front of 800 people to show them what we got!!

However, once the competition was over and the Christmas break had come and gone….. I woke up in January 2017 and said – “What now”???? What is my ‘me’ purpose….?????

So on a positive, I can say that the excuse of “I don’t have the time” – that doesn’t cut it. When we really do want something badly enough, we will make the time. It is possible to do more… to find time….. and to make it work, when we really set our mind to it.

Starting it out with gusto…….

So one of the techniques I applied in 2017, to start salvaging the lost me, was the application of a “To Do List”. A to do list encompassing not just the workload, but also the family load (sorry guys not meaning to call you a load), the ‘me load’ and the house and home load.

So every day I would make a list of 12 items, 3 for each category, which I was to do that very day. No more, no less.

Starting off 2018 has been no different and, although it does fall by the wayside sometimes, I still start each day with making a To Do List for the day ahead. I do this in a To Do List Book.

The main lesson I have learned out of my To Do List, is not to overestimate what I can get done, so I am breaking it down into smaller portions making sure that I can ultimately get the list done within the day, as the list now allows for distractions…….The second main lesson is that, all of what makes me up needs to be part of the plan, not just work.

 

Those who know me may have heard me say that I one day want to write a book with the title “Simple” and for those of you who don’t, let me explain;

For a number of years I have been interested, as many others in self-development, motivational techniques, empowerment and all those other wonderful things that we need to make ourselves “truly the best we can be”.

Whilst embarking on this journey, via books, magazines, TV shows, motivational speakers and other ways one message that seemed to be repeated is that if you just make an executive decision then it is simple, straightforward even, to reach your goals and dreams.

Listening to this sound advice I couldn’t help to be drawn to my list of goals and dreams which would look something like this;

1. I want to be a successful entrepreneur with a solid reputation for excellence as well as, of course, financial freedom, in abundance.
2. I want to be a great mom to my three wonderful kids, now nearly all in double digits, so time is of the essence. In fact at this rate I can’t be just great, that simply wouldn’t do, I need to be “slaying” and “lit” to make the cut on snapchat!!
3. I want to have a fabulous, well-kept and maintained home to which I have regular visitors. Not just the type of visitors that arrives when everything is turned up-side down.
4. I want to give back to my immediate as well as extended community through my drive and energy for all things wellbeing and be the one who tells them all its simple!
5. I want to be able to do the things that I love and have passion for. This would in short include travel, spend time with friends and family, dance, eat good food, read great books, go for long walks, socialise…… you can keep that going.
6. I want to have a most romantic relationship with my husband whom I feel I haven’t really seen for the past 15 years, well 10 to be fair.
7. I want to be the best friend anyone can have and ensure to get lots of quality time with those whom I love and care for.
8. I want to be skinny, and I mean not just half way there but fully at 6 pack level running marathons like I currently eat skittles!
9. & most of all I want to be happy……..

So all that is quite simple isn’t it……….

Most people know me for being a very happy individual, full of energy and drive and one who can never sit still………  therefore even my closer friends don’t believe me when I tell them that last year was a really hard year for me….. I simply couldn’t reach myself….

This is one of the reasons I have decided to start this blog…. to tell my simple story

Both the story of how last year went down and how this year is about to go…… hope you will take part in my journey.

P.S I even have a t-shirt, plain white, with black text on the front reading…… SIMPLY!